Do you ever find yourself in a rut? Knowing in your mind what you ‘ought’ to be doing but finding yourself repeadtedly doing something else? I do. It’s very irritating. Take for instance texting while driving. I know it’s wrong, I’ve seen the commercials and heard the stories of what can, and often does, happen. Do I put it into practice? No. I somehow think that I’m ‘different’ or ‘that won’t happen to me.’
Last week I made a last minute stop at a friends house before driving to Athens and as I was slowly heading down their driveway I grabbed my phone to re-set my google map for directions and while I was looking down I blindly (that’s how it is when you look at your phone instead of the road) rolled right into a tree. CRUNCH! I was shocked, embarrased, horrified. The tree was fine, but my 4-runner suffered $2100 in damage to the left fender. Thats a $500 deductible for me and I felt ABSOLUTELY SICK as I thought of such a stupid mistake. Then I felt really, really grateful. Thank God it was 5 MPH into a tree and not 50 into a person. It could have been so much worse.
Hello wake up call. I hear you.
I admit this not becuase I’m proud of it, (NOT) but becuase it helps to just be honest about things. See, I know that you hear the same stupid lies in your ears that I do….”You don’t measure up”! “If people really know the truth, they would reject you”. “You are the only one with this issue and everyone else has their life together so much better then you”. Blah. Blah. Blah.
What a Lie.
I’m just like you. At times I feel frustrated, inadequate, lonely. I wonder if I’ve missed the boat, I dwell on the past and my mistakes. I second guess myself on my parenting and wish I were a better friend and example to my girls. On and On it goes. But then I feel that tug on my heart and that quiet voice breaks in that whispers, “I’m here”. “I see you”. “I know you”. “You ARE good enough”. “I love you”.
That’s when I have to stomp my foot, shake my fist, take a stand and put what I know into action. I have to grab ahold of those negative emotions and squeeze them until they disolve in light of the truth. There is no one like me. I have tremendous purpose. My experiences and honesty affect other people if I’m willing to be open. I can make a difference in the lives of others. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I admit that I get into routines that aren’t that great. But I also realize that I have the choice to get out of them. I can activate what I know to be true into my daily life and let it make a difference.
“If you never put your faith into action then you are only agreeing with an idea”.
So I’m going to Haiti next week for 5 days. Yes, it’s last minute. It’s random. It’s a bit selfish. But I need it. I need to step into that reality of the uncomfortable and absolutely basic atmosphere so that I am forced to have a reality check. I have to have it.
I spend way to much time doing things that are pointless.
I need revival.
I need renewal.
I need love to take over.
So I’m going to Haiti.
They have it. What they dont have is a rat race, cell phones, internet, facebook, shopping malls, TV, big houses, A/C, Costco, surplus, electricity, the Jones’s living next door….
They have love. plain and simple. No distractions. They have the bare minimals, if that. No electricity, so when the sun goes down, it’s time to go to bed. We will wake up at 4 am to the sounds of Haitian praise and worship to God in the IHOP (prayer, not pancakes) and spend the day loving God by serving people.
Major reality check.